There’s a certain pretenciousness that comes with being a Movie Buff. We judge others for their lack of interest/ignorance when it comes to the industry. You always have something to say when someone says they’re excited for the next Transformers movie. You vomit endless amounts of useless information when someone asks you who that black actor in Die Hard 3 was. A while back, I did an article about the benefits of being a movie buff, but there are certainly cons that also come with it. And I request you movie buffs out there to be sure to tone yourself down when you do these things, because even I find them obnoxious from time to time. And to those I’ve talked to, I’m sorry if I movie douched you in any way. This list I’ve come up with are the direct experiences with what I’ve done and what I’ve seen others do. But if you’re with your movie buddies, go buck wild. So here are ways you can act like a pretentious movie douche. **Note, this is a very attacking article and very stupid in my opinion. I mainly wrote it to vent some built up feelings. Feel my wrath.
Call Out Actors and Directors by their informal names: Bob, Marty
Calling Robert DeNiro ‘Bobby’ or Martin Scorsese “Marty” just because you know the industry calls them that makes you seem a lot more phony than you think. Especially when you use this ploy and you’re expecting one of your casual movie goers to ask, ‘who’ and you fire back a quip or jest that you spent last night thinking up, thinking you’ve impressed them. And trying to mediate it by saying Robert “Bobby” DeNiro doesn’t help, you just sound like a pretentious movie douche.
Cite other critics without credit
I’m guilty of using the words of other critiques to help consolidate my thoughts every once in a while. I’m sure many of you who consider yourselves amateur movie critiques are familiar with Rotten Tomatoes and the critics consensus, which summarizes the voices of dozens of critics in two very well constructed sentences. Hindsight bias always gets the best of me after I check a movie on Rotten Tomatoes and write a review afterwards. Usually all I can think of are those words the critics consensus said and I shamelessly use those ideas to come up with my own thoughts and opinions. it’s very easy to do, which makes me believe most other critics do this, which is why I believe movie critique should only be left to those who’ve actually studied film [which I do not]. So if there’s any reason I have less and less movie reviews is because I find them more and more phony as I write them. So the next time you’re at a movie night at your friends and you launch an idea based on the critics consensus or any other review to display ‘insight’ to your friends about the movie, please don’t. It only makes you a pretentious movie douche.
Flaunt obnoxious and useless movie trivia
I’ve been guilty of this so many times, and it’s actually more awkward to bring up in the middle of a movie. Hypothetical scenario. While watching Gladiator, a movie buff would point in the middle of a scene and say, “they almost made a Gladiator 2, where Maximus fought his way through Hell and came back immortal where he fights ‘gladiator’ fights through time”. It’s awkward, has no point, and benefits no one. It’s perfectly okay to look up neat trivia in movies or watch DVD commentaries, but you movie buffs need to be sure about the time and place where you bring up this trivia. Otherwise you become a pretentious movie douche.
Compare obscure movies and past performances and citing older films no one knows or cares about
Talking about how Love Don’t Cost a Thing is a remake of Can’t Buy Me Love is another instance where useless movie trivia can be taken as pretentious if used in the wrong time and place. It’s a little bit of a stretch, but I’m also lumping in the idea of this hypothetical scenario: you and your friends just finished Little Fockers, and the pretentious movie douche is complaining the entire movie about how “‘Bobby’ sold out and he’s forsaken Raging Bull and Taxi Driver with this atrocity”. This is unnecessary and means nothing to your casual movie buddies who have no idea what you’re talking about. Congratulations, you’re a pretentious movie douche.
Digging between the lines, calling the shots, or saying what could’ve been better [when the way it was done was just fine, and if you had the wheel, you would’ve fcked it up]
It’s always way easier to be a critic than to actually making a movie. Hindsight is 20/20 and seeing a movie and pointing out it’s faults is far more easier than what the directors, producers, and actors, actually have to do. There’s a time and place to make metaphors out of movies, using the Jesus batismimal card, overanalyzing a seemingly meta chunk of dialogue, or completely ripping on the way a scene is shot. It’s pretentious, and you better show your college degree that you actually know what you’re talking about. The truth is that you probably couldn’t of done it any better. And thinking you could’ve makes you a pretentious movie douche.